Do you believe that we are all made of different parts? After all, not everyone is all bad or all good. Human beings have a combination of helpful and harmful amounts of themselves. Unfortunately, trauma has a way of bringing out the worst in us.
INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS (IFS) is a type of therapy that helps you discover who you are and bring all of these parts together. The three main parts include:
EXILES
These are young parts that were burdened or traumatized and often become isolated from the rest of the system as a way to protect the individual from feeling pain, hurt, rejection, abandonment, terror and so on. The exile is what floods you with painful memories of your past trauma
MANAGERS
These parts keep the individual in control of every situation in an effort to protect and soothe the exiles. Managers do this in an attempt to push away the exiles/emotions. Manages can do this by striving, controlling, perfecting, organizing, care taking, and so on.
FIREFIGHTERS
These parts react when the exiles are triggered in an effort to control and extinguish their feelings. They can do this in a number of harmful ways. Such as drug use, cutting, binge-eating, sex and shopping-sprees and so on. Firefighters have the same goals as the managers (to keep exiles away) but different strategies.
By using IFS therapy, you will identify these parts and release the burden they have on you.
Here are five ways IFS therapy treats trauma.
1. Identifying Your Parts
In order to discover your parts, it starts with being in tune with yourself. Meditation is a great practice for that by being in a quiet place where you can focus all of your attention on yourself. You will pay attention to your body’s sensations to see what parts you can work with. Remember that the mind and the body have a connection with each other. Just like when you are mentally tired, your entire body feels like shutting down. See what needs your attention right now and where you notice it. Once you find a part, turn your attention towards it.
2. Fleshing Out Your Parts
When you have identified a part, this is the opportunity to learn more about it. Are you a manager, firefighter or exile? Think about what emotions or actions represent the part and if you have felt it before. You can also see how often you have experienced these feelings. Does this part tend to take over all of the other emotions by problem solving or through self-harm?
3. Becoming Friends with Your Part
The hardest part of IFS therapy is getting to know your parts and seeing how they influences your life. This is all about accepting your parts for everything they are. However, this does not mean they need to run your life. Ask yourself how this part came to be and how well it does its job. Getting to know this part like you would get to know a friend will no longer allow this part to be a stranger to you and will not come as a surprise.
4. Knowing What Your Part is Afraid of
Getting to know your part also means knowing what your part is afraid of. How come your part feels the need to be active in your life, and why would it be scared if it were to leave. Discovering what this part wants from you would uncover all of its secrets.
5. Healing Your Parts
If you feel painful emotions or memories that come out of nowhere or are out of proportion to whatever is going on, it means that an exile part has come up. Your therapist will turn their attention to that part and slowly help you work through the trauma and burden it holds. While the work is being done in a safe way, the therapist will ask the manager and firefighter parts to step back for a moment in order to allow something new to happen.
In all, the main goal of IFS is to help the exiles heal and recover so the managers and firefighters can be liberated. If you think IFS could be beneficial to you, please contact us for a free consultation. We look forward to hearing from you soon!
Learn more about our trauma and PTSD therapy in Colorado. Serving Boulder, Longmont, Denver.
