If you’re living with ADHD, you’ve probably been on the receiving end of every well-intentioned piece of advice. Write things down, make a list, set an alarm, pay attention, and get more rest. You’ve heard it all.
The tricky part is that your friends and family genuinely want to help you. Unfortunately, their suggestions often miss the mark because they don’t understand the difference in how your brain works. Many people have a baseline understanding of what ADHD is, but they don’t know how complicated it truly is.
Explaining ADHD can be a frustrating task, but with the right approach, you can help the people in your life understand what you’re experiencing. Having successful discussions will help them provide you with support that makes a difference.
Start with What ADHD Actually Is
When having a conversation with a non-medical person, skip any medical terms and clinical definitions. Try using more relatable language. A good starting point is to share that your brain processes information differently from a neurotypical brain.
Emphasize the fact that ADHD is a neurological difference that affects executive functioning. This encompasses time management, task prioritization, emotional regulation, and concentration. With ADHD, your brain is juggling too many things at once. So while it may outwardly appear that you’re lazy or unmotivated, it goes beyond your full control.
Use Specific Examples
Abstract explanations will rarely land with your audience. Instead of offering general explanations, try painting a picture with real scenarios from your daily life.
Making statements like “I have trouble focusing” will provide an example, but going a step further is better. Say, “Remember when I forgot dinner last week? I was so caught up in a work project that hours passed by. My ADHD controls where my attention goes.”
Another example you can use is time blindness. The typical brain can estimate how much time has passed, but with ADHD, five minutes or an hour can feel like the same thing.
Explain What You Need
Your friends and family will want to help you if they know you’re struggling, but they need concrete direction. Rather than focus on your limitations, try offering what productive support looks like:
Text reminders before planned meetups are helpful
Demonstrating patience when interruptions occur because your thoughts come fast, and you don’t want to forget your thought
Don’t take missed responses personally. It’s never that you don’t care.
Accountability partners help when tasks need to get done
Don’t be afraid to be direct in letting them know what helps and what doesn’t. Certain comments can feel dismissive or minimizing, and should be avoided. Gently explain why “just focus harder” isn’t useful.
Invite Them to Learn More Together
Sometimes the best conversations happen when you explore ADHD information together. Share articles, videos, or social media content that you find particularly helpful. Watching someone with ADHD explain their experience can be eye-opening for the people who don’t live with it.
If you’re attending therapy, you may choose to invite them to a session with you. Having a professional explain ADHD can add validity to your own discussions and give them an opportunity to ask questions.
Remember That Understanding Takes Time
Just like you’re learning to manage your ADHD, your loved ones need time to understand it. They might ask the same questions repeatedly or forget the strategies you’ve shared. Be patient with them, just as you’re asking them to be patient with you.
Get Support That Helps
Having conversations with your friends and family can be helpful, but professional support can make all the difference to your experience. Whether you’ve been newly diagnosed or have been managing your symptoms for years, therapy for ADHD can provide personalized strategies tailored to meet you where you are.
Are you ready to work with someone who truly understands the inner workings of ADHD? Contact us to schedule your free consultation.
