By April Lyons MA, LPC
While EMDR therapy isn’t a new therapeutic approach, many people don’t have a common understanding of the in-depth process. If you are about to start your EMDR journey, or have been struggling through your first couple of sessions, you may be wondering what you’re supposed to be thinking about.
This is one of the most common questions people have. EMDR is not your traditional talk therapy, so it’s normal to feel a bit uncertain at first. Try not to overthink the process. But a little guidance on what to expect can mentally prepare you and make your experience less mysterious.
You Don’t Have to Get Specific
Traditional talk therapies revolve around unpacking specific memories and working through the root causes. EMDR focuses more on the emotions that come up during your session. With the guidance of your therapist, you will select a target memory to focus on during your session. While focusing on that memory, they will implement bilateral stimulation.
From there, your job is to let your mind wander wherever it feels like going. You may see images or feel certain sensations in your body. It’s possible that an old memory that you haven’t thought about in years resurfaces. This is an opportunity for your brain to put in the work and heal. You’re simply along for the ride.
What If Your Mind Goes Blank?
In some instances, you may find your mind going blank. Fear not, it’s okay when this happens. Noticing that your mind goes blank is still acknowledging something happening. Share this information with your therapist, and you can work through that together. The beauty of EMDR is that there is no right or wrong thing to experience during your sessions. Forcing anything wouldn’t be productive. Your nervous system sets a pace that is comfortable and sustainable.
What the Process Looks Like
Here’s a general sense of what’s happening in your head during an EMDR session:
You start by identifying a target, which is usually a memory, image, or feeling connected to a traumatic or past negative experience.
The target serves as your focus point while the bilateral stimulation starts.
As the session progresses, you allow your attention to drift naturally. Take note of anything that comes up without judging or overanalyzing it.
After each set, you’ll have a check-in period. This is a time to share anything that has surfaced and do any grounding work that needs to be done to return you to a calm state.
This process will repeat until the target has lost its charge.
Your main role in this process is to feel your feelings and report back. Don’t worry about trying to solve anything in the moment.
Can You Try Too Hard?
One of the most common things people do in early EMDR sessions is try to make something happen. You want to follow the rules and do everything “right.” But overthinking can actually lead to counterproductive outcomes.
Think of it less like solving a puzzle and more like watching clouds. Sit back and relax. Let your mind surrender to the process. The more you can relinquish control, the more room you have to move through the barriers that have been holding you back.
Ready to Try EMDR?
EMDR is an alternative form of healing for people who have tried to talk through trauma with little success. There is no cookie-cutter approach for therapy. When one method doesn’t fit well, don’t be afraid to try another. If you’re curious about whether it might be a good fit for you, we’d love to connect.
Learn more about our EMDR therapy services or contact us to schedule your free consultation.
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